Plant Kween, the Revival

Back, back, back again…Let’s see if we can get monetized this time around.

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Hey, look! It’s me. Plant Kween quadrupled in page hits while I was away. This cute photo of me better draw in another 1,600 of you.

Running a blog is a lot like being a plant dad (mom, gender neutral parent, kween, etc.). You’ve got to keep those plants watered⁠—those posts in a constant stream.


I’m sorry, I’ve treated you all like the world’s most drought-resistant cactus; that snake plant you stuck on top of your refrigerator that you only water “when you remember” (never); an etiolated succulent you’ve sentenced to death in a dark, windowless bathroom.

Maybe not that bad.

My last post was in 2018. While writing this, I googled “What plants can survive without water for over a year?” Turns out, none. I guess I’ve treated you all like the (very cute) plastic succulents that live on my coworker’s desk.

One of these succulents is real. Can you guess which one?

That’s right, you read that right. I work (well, intern) in a real life big boy office, now. You can read all about which plants will do well under fluorescent lighting in this post.

Anyway, I’m back for at least another three months if I want to pass “Production Techniques JOUR 2100,” the second half of “journalism bootcamp” classes meant to test my skills in reporting, writing and…gardening.

So, get ready, because Plant Kween is taking back her throne.

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